My Post

2010-11-20T00:17:00.000+08:00

is at http://w0nkas.livejournal.com/ already!!!!!! hhahahahah

CHALET

2008-10-05T17:52:00.002+08:00

hmmm, 48 hours passed.... and 24 hours, i was sleeping lol!

that happens when theres like, a 'free' flow of beer... okay, ubin, band, chalet, now... quite fun but taxing, especially after ubin....

2008-10-03T05:41:00.002+08:00

i swear im gonna die someday of waiting.....

because 1/2 my life i am only waiting for something to happen... and most of the time it either don't happen or take very long....

on, a lighter note, ahahahaa i found something under my new lappy that shocked me for a while.... MY LAPPY HAS A SUBWOOFER!!!! ahahahahaa... time to buy a bag

2008-09-30T23:50:00.002+08:00

im so glad i improved, because half of the other time, i was so damn worried my GPA will fall furthur from 3.0.... i will continue to buck up i swear...

lol practised the whole day after the SL meeting and is now damn tired... tml's istana performance

my dearest

2008-09-26T01:47:00.002+08:00

yes yes, my eyes are getting worst over the days...

i have trouble reading scores, theory papers, playing psp, typing on blogs, watching mangas, seeing bus numbers, wadeva..

trouble is, this problem gives me a constant headache, one far worst than me taking in caffine, and that headache, refuses my sleep.

i cannot do anything properly

2008-09-24T23:15:00.003+08:00

AHHH....hahah been damn lazy and being home lesser...

hmm, slept over at yu's again ytd, so its sentosa and lan and spacechimps and school ytd till today..

hmmm hahaha laziness will keep both my blogs empty.

HI AGAIN

2008-09-22T05:34:00.004+08:00

a 5 months i left here.. saying things like its the last post whatever..

now im back! ahahahaa.. because i really feel attached to blogspot after getting used to it for the past 5years..

easy picts loads too, and so its not just long paragraphs of words i wana spit out of my mind..

laters!

2007-10-20T20:55:00.001+08:00

my final post on this blog...

2007-10-20T02:20:00.000+08:00

hmmm, a long time since i sat down and did some self reflection...

this time round theres alot for me to reflect on, as in, hahah procrastinated ones... hmmm, never had the chance to stop and quietly think about my doings...

ya, and i need to learn to accept fate as its something i can never change... everything has a law behind it... so it seems that how imbalanced life is, you getting what you don't want and losing what you want.. but once you understand and get used to the logic, you learn to move on...

responsibility, is what i have been leaking of.. i no longer think of consequences behind my actions as much as last time... and that, i did not fufil alot of responsibility i was supposed to.. not doing work assigned to me, not keeping track of group work, and its alot like breaking promises, meaning not doing what you agreed to do... hmmm, i think alot of people will suffer due to this..

confidence, determined my success and failures... i learnt to never be overconfident..

my attitude changed drastically and i had become more rude than ever.. raising voice, using vulgarities more often, hmmmm....

if anyone should understand what im thinking, then they will know that im one of the most hypocritical people... i behave differently according to different people i hang out with, and i hang out with different people almost every hour... i do not know if i should call this being a hypocrite or being a neutral party but i actually hang out with different groups, even if those groups are in conflicts... and i would somehow act blur...

i am also losing peer respect, as in, respecting them... basic courtesy had been forgotten...

im also losing the helpful side of me, and end up putting myself in top priority... i would only do things that benifits me, if not, there will sure be a motive, be it good or bad...

health, and its not a joke... ice milo, teh peng, western food everyday is not a very good idea, and sleeping late... drinking lesser and lesser water...

lacking self-dicipline i used to have... not waking up on time is a big problem... doing things slowly, disregarding authorities... hmmmmm...

so as it seems, all these had been a part of me for months, and i doubt that i will ever put in any effort to remove my bad points...

all because im fine with it

2007-10-20T00:17:00.000+08:00

gonna fell sick again very soon....

ulcer, headache and feverish feeling.. waaaaa, bad sgin... getting too heaty le...

went to bandroom at afternoon, then to lunch and class... hmm, class ended at 10min mark again... then was to explore the school... hmmm, saw miss suan and 2 bowen teacher at design canteen... haha went to say hi...

quintet finally taking a good shape, hmm, at least that is what it seems to me la hahaha.... hmm, but i went off mode halfway during band because of migrane attack... zzzzz sad sia...

more and more stressload... hmmm i feel it alrd...

2007-10-18T22:10:00.000+08:00

pager rendering with a sloppily done background because they arent considered under marking criteria..

hmmm, i guess its time huge amount of stress load is going to pile on poor me... 2nd part of module thaught us illustrator rendering... and we were thaught by someone whos also learning illustrator...

timetable out alrd... i dun like the CDS part but everythings fine with me... hahah gonna take 3D art fun next block... hmmm... P1s coming too... hahaha and best of all, the 6 week holiday!... hmmm... but im scared i lose track of doing work after the long break...

so today went down for quintet practise at 11, and im late for an hour... ate lunch went for class and then back to bandroom... hahah a day that i will enjoy... looking forward to tml band practise and weekend break... hmmm... haha i only hope i dun break under stress this time... i promise not to... hahahaha

a happy mindset... but whether it stays depends on myself

lets start working hard hahaha for concert and also for studies!

2007-10-18T00:33:00.000+08:00

tired, and thats what i'd expect from a typical submission day....

and i kinda realised submissions always ends with a band practise... hmm, audi practise today and i actually thought the sound in the audi is quite good... as compared to the band room... but ya, mr tan went off early...

hmmmm, sent super lot of sms today, and i think i just hit a record high sms per day... at least 100 for informing course group... i think.. hmmmm...

ate supper again... i almost eat supper everyday... ya, and i think im too used to it and it feels terrible to realise that myself...

rendering small assignment marks were revealed today, and i think it just contributed to my msn nick... (: hmmmmm, cant upload picts now, so i guess i leave it to tml... hahaha

i guess there are alot of people i need to thank for helping me in a way to boost my confidence... its getting larger and i hope it does not shrink... hmmm, haha had been thinking about alot of things about everything i am doing, and everything else i can do... and also about band stuff, course stuff and project T.T...

someday im gonna overcome every problem i face!! hahahahah, sharks!, i feel an ulcer at my tongue, yet again... T.T

2007-10-17T04:37:00.000+08:00

what i had been doing late night....

hmmm, things seems to be working out fine, and under control... just that i feel abit too busy.... hmmm, quiz was a killer... HMM, killer as in, can laugh till die... lol cause the answer for question 1 is found on question 2... and everyone was talking away and copying, without benny even caring...

slack slack in room till kh lesson end then went for quintet.. finally a full attendence... tml gonna be full run thru i guess....

hahaah kinda figured out what li hong thaught me... lets hope tomorrow's smooth sailing for me... lets hope... hahaaha... but the thing is tml is submission so i'd expect chaos... hahahah thats something queer to look at... hmmmm, cant wait till tml's practise! then everything will lighten its load on poor me... hahah

earli morning but im gonna sleep anyway!

hahah dun lose confidence til the last day!

please stop saying things that will eventually bring mr to the darker side... my only decision is to wait for orders...so please stop... T.T

2007-10-16T04:34:00.000+08:00

Things are not in a bad shape actually, unlike how i see it..

hmm, but it might just turn in to what i fear most, going out of control... my sleeping time is chaotic, varying everyday... work is progressing slowly... hmmm, i might not be able to complete them by 7am... metal tech not touched on, and project is very blurr de...

gonna have breakfast soon... hahahah

the fatal flaw in every being is the assumption that you know more than your enemy

2007-10-15T23:30:00.000+08:00

every bus ride home is the same, quietly summing up the whole days journey...

today i noticed some people using different kind of eyes to look at me, and i feel so weird... isit something wrong with me today? haha but i feel perfectly normal, a perfect monday i'd say...

class is so boring i can cry, and prank calls are getting on my nerves... Wa quiz tml and i dunno what to study... but i got most of the info into my head alrd... hmmm, so when i decided to sit down quietly and do work in studio today, weizhen told me they were going to eat dinner.... WAAAAAA.. hmmm, so ya, went to band and tried to practise... now my lips still feels tired...

woa woa, i did something really stupid today, which is going supper... dunno whats got into me but i kinda forget that i need to be home early... tch, hahaha so i kind of wasted today... WASTED haha cos i realy never do anything of value...

crapman2 not even thouched on, but i bought my markers alrd.. hmmm, 2 markers for 10$ and who the hell(normal person) would spend that kind of money.. and phone card, 15$ hahah i easily burnt 25$ from my pocket...

headache is getting worst by the minute... hahah but i keep reminding myself how foolish i was... hmmm, now that workload is getting intense, i only yearn for a break..

hahah to smile away worries is something alien to me

later...

2007-10-13T19:50:00.000+08:00

a long day out...

tried to do rendering, and end up slacking away, but only to realise i need to do alot more procrastinated work...

dinner at home... rare

2007-10-13T03:58:00.000+08:00

im sorry to my group mate if we did not do well... its all my fault for being like this... and i kinda dragged u all down with me.. sorry sia..

im sorry deemei as to how i treated you in the past... haha but please move on in life, and please forget everything i had said in the past... sorry

2007-10-13T01:20:00.000+08:00

hmmm... i'd actually throw everything aside and take a break right now...

2007-10-12T01:03:00.000+08:00

i miss planning events
i miss singing karaokae
i miss going down bishan everyday
i miss going to school at 9am everyday
i miss doing work till 4am everyday
i miss taking the last bus everyday
i miss buying phonecards everyweek
i miss eating breakfast every other day
i miss chilling out somewhere every weekend
i miss spending my cash without any thought...

hmmmm, to think, i actually miss everyday till yesterday

but im fine with life...

zzzz stucked with Sony Crapman V.2..... wad a lame name to give it as an assignment...

2007-10-11T23:31:00.000+08:00

a break after long days of doing serious work...

i found out that the tempo of my life had been lost again, and everything is being disrupted.. Haii.... for now i only hope i can pass this block and can perform well for concert.... nothing else...

till, then, im gonna work hard!

but what should i do after all these.....

2007-10-11T07:06:00.000+08:00

this kind of busy life, this kind of overnight work.... haiii...

i may seem to not care, or seem to have forgotten, but i do not.... i still remember every single bit, and i care as much...

zzzz sleepy sia...

2007-10-11T00:26:00.001+08:00

hmmm, i realised i always blog before i do work, and when im taking a break... so its very common to see mutiple posts per day...

a long tiring day for me, but i feel stupid, because i alarm clock trained myself, or rather, my whole family are alarm clocked trained... the presence of the alarm clock only tells us the time, and the alarm sound is like a breeze...

ppl always say go get 3 alarm clocks or something, but that do not work for me... like today when i decided to sleep and wake up at 8 to do project alone, i end up waking up at 12pm, to the snooze of my handphone... thats whje i realise i have 3 alarm clocks beside me, all set to 10am... i totally missed them out, and slept through everything... hmmm... is there a way to revert?

so went school in a panic, because i haven finished my assignment due today, and i haven asked kh for any comments... so metal techonology class was boring to the corest core... wa... feel like i am retaking basic Dnt...

rendering class was chaotic, people swarmed the classroom, and was doing work like madman... and so i entertained everyone else while they are busy, and i end up suffering, from sore throat again.... stupid rite?

went down to band again, hmmm dont like today lei, cos we were like doing nothing for an hour plus...

went supper and was home.... doing pager assignment and project draft later... today i cannot go and lie down cos i sure will die horrible horrible...

arrival of the queen sheeba, hmm, interesting piece and i would like to play it... its not hard for the trombone part though...

when i finally understood something, i'd just find out how poor a person i was

2007-10-09T21:50:00.000+08:00

hmmmmm.. i guess my markers just went dead??

and im the one thats gonna die???

hmm... lets see, my project group is okay except that we do not communicate at all... and it seems that we are the one suffering...

so today kh totally ruined my mood... not him actually, but the rest of the class, or rather the other class... or whom ever else that went for double slots lessons... so enthu for wad sia, not as if u will learn more... most probably you will only get kh to notice you more and theres a word for such thing...

i have nothing against them, but i have something against kh allowing them to do so... hmm...

i sounded like a bastard, but thats what i am right?

2007-10-09T18:39:00.000+08:00

walau, stress alert!

hmmm, assignment OFICALLY due TOMORROW!, and i don't have the markers required for it!

no dateline extension and it was furthur stressed by kh... no mcs, no wadeva reason, ur mom die or wad he wont accept... hmmm... the mc part really was pointed towards me huh...

so in the end i guess im really gonna sleep 4hrs a day no matter wad... hmm, wad if my markers went out of ink later? i can just die...

HMMM... project work UNDONE! and we need to do rhino.. RHINO LEH!!!! SUPER DIFFICULT DE LA... my ass itchy isit go ask them do a handphone... wad sia want to act only end up now very stress

tch... 1st i need to start work for real...

later..

2007-10-08T01:24:00.000+08:00

hmm, stucked with work undone... burning oil now, but abit hungry... no food at home atm.... waaaa torture..

draft for project, CNY special coke can, band video all undone!

oh... cannot say undone... is UNFINISHED.... i never push myself hard enough... watched too much tv, sleep too much... gonna CHANGE!!!!

alot of things i my mind, causing alot of conflicting thoughts... ha, my life is never calm because oftenly i wil experience difficult situation and have to make difficult choices... sad sia

2007-10-07T18:52:00.000+08:00

hmm... lets see, if i never sleep so much, i will had made my ezlink already... haii.. too bad la, tomorrow go make during free time after meeting and project stuffs... today really need to burn oil already... tsk...

but its just a waste of money and time if i drag on...

many many stuff not done yet.... only did a few rendering pieces, stucked with plastic project, and got band stuff which im also stuck with...

hey, weekends suck eh?

2007-10-07T13:28:00.000+08:00

hmmmm... big rain....

that means i cannot go out..? hmmmmmmm... but i dunwan to stay at home, plus i need make ezlink, eat dinner... waaa... sian...

so im stuck with CNY special, and plastic project, which i dunno how to do oso...

hmm, lets see, maybe i need burn some oil tonight... haii, spent too much time slacking.

2007-10-07T00:28:00.000+08:00

long unfruitful day...

went bugis this morning, to go brash basar buy markers... lunched at food junction, a total rip off my 5$ on charsiew and roasted meat rice... and a 1.10$ teh...

its either hot milo or teh i had been drinking these few days...

then went to library, and wasted around 3 hours, and ended up with royston borrowing one book... T.T i lost my ezlink, thus i cannot borrow any books... ahhhh my ezlink!!!!1

took a 1hour plus bus ride tyo hougang, went dinner...

tsk... haha i realised i nv mention much bout te band camp?? but haii, guess i gonna be abit busy until next month...

2007-10-05T23:38:00.000+08:00

hmmmmmmm....

cant find my ezlink today, so i ended up leaving the house at 3.30pm... reached bandroom at 4pm, then tried to get ppl to eat with me... ate at 5pm, then walked back to bandroom, but joined zhexing at the carpark instead...

practised abit outside, but found out that i do not have enough air.... hmmm... went for practise, and nose was blocked because the room was abit too cold... end up choughing and sniffing away...

abit giddy cos cant breath properly, even now... haiiii..

went supper with eric just now... zzz... and to think he was the one saying he dun want to eat...

haiii.. tml do work mah...?

2007-10-05T13:37:00.000+08:00

omg, flu just got worst....

hmm... ulcer cream not working though... still coughs now and then... hmmm... not going art friend or mart today... deciding to go tml...

haii... really will do project work tml meh?... try my best la.. still finding picts for rendering..

band stuff not done... waaaa... too slack le la..

2007-10-04T19:47:00.000+08:00

hmmmmm....

woke up at around 12.30 by my alarm clock... so rushed and reached school at 1.30pm... lesson ended at 2pm, then we went to 'discuss' group prohect, and then to lunch...

hmmmmm.. no more copic refill at book shop... guess need to go art friend or something tml..

so went down to band room eat with the others... hmm.. had been eating western food for 2 days already even though im sick.. haha, but it seems that my fever is gone, and my sore throat is packing up already...

hahaha, fighing posion with posion, was what the western food uncle said...

but of course, i would like to enjoy an early sleep today, waking up at midnight to do work... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

2007-10-03T22:50:00.000+08:00

so, ya... a happy day...

ya... as if...

woke up to experience bodyache, fever, sorethroat... took panadol and slept again, until 1pm, hen when im feeling better, i left for school... class was boring... GPA 2.57..? hmmm... not very good...

panadol effect wore off at around 4pm, and my C3 marker went out of ink... ate at design canteen western food..

anyway, my tongue was getting worst by the minute... didnt have anough air to play for quintet...

overall, today sucked... im afraid that i might need to take medical leave tomorrow... haiii..

2007-10-02T22:02:00.000+08:00

sickness went worst today.. i dunno if i should go school tml, but i have project to do... zzzz.... so shagged... assignment later...

ulcer got worst, and my throat now stings... so painful... headache, fever...

2007-10-02T00:00:00.000+08:00

so today was quite a sucky day... was so sick...

hahaha i had my long awaited 12hr sleep, but was disrupted by a surge of pain from my stomach.... so had diarroeah in the morning, then all sort of sickness i originally had became worst...

so, went to school with, fever, flu, stomachache, nausea, headache, sorethroat... ulcer on the tip of tongue... so it was a dammed day... was feeling so pissed inside that i almost cannot take the band practise...

but, haha i talked alot today... its always lidat, when im too tired or too sick, i will start to talk alot... so, haha enjoy the current me while it last!

zzzz so many ppl got sick..

2007-10-01T09:47:00.000+08:00

an update on yesterday... i lost my conscious after i reached home... too damn tired..

prerelease day 2... started off differently as i was sleepy... my eyes kept wanting to close... no major things occured to me...

so everything was smooth, then was debrief, then i went off... tsk need to stand in the bus...

i'd really hate it when you are so tired and sick but your mind keeps telling you something you don't wan to think about..

oh ya... i had once again, lost to sickness... im officially sick again! but i cannot mc... cos today is day 1 of school..

happy children's day

2007-09-29T22:57:00.000+08:00

prerelease day one... good experience... hhaha not bad not bad, but abit tiring...

the me today was so calmed, doing everything, without a second thought.. hahha but i still start to think after dinner... slept on the bus all the way to serangoon, then took bus back home...

tml...

2007-09-28T23:10:00.000+08:00

oh... didnt mention that i went for camp on thursday and friday(today).... too damn tiring for me... zzz

was so sick on both days... didnt ehjoy anything... ulcer on the tip of the tongue, headache, nausea... so day 1 was feeling so sleepy in the big piano studio, with only 4 people from trombone.. practised a few scores i didnt want to play.. then later was lunch and combine practises...

was already moody from all the headache, and tired lips... zzz... then went to the bbq to smell smoke... only ate a sweet potato and corn... went to walk and sit at the notice boards, then to desgin carpark... tsk, then i realised i lost another important item.... so, kept walking to find it but failed..

went to drink coffee, which was the biggest mistake, cos my empty stomach begain to protest, and my head got heavier...

went to bathe and that was the best part of the camp... zzz... ate ice cream at around 3.30am...

today was totally hell for me, firstly because of the headache, then bodyache due to sleeping on the green benches, then heavy headache due to the cold... had no appettite for lunch, so i stayed to practised...

the cuts on the lip i got from playing on thursday hurts like hell.. those were on the upper lips and i cannot play high notes properly, but too bad, all the scores we played today was killer for trombone 1... in the end, at around 3pm, i got another cut at the lower lip...

had concert comm meeting, and came home after that...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz super long days... but there are two more days to go... how????!!!!!! should i cancel tomorrow's??

arrrrrrgggggghhhh....

2007-09-27T00:46:00.000+08:00

my pillow is calling out to me, but, i really hate that stupid sofa!!..... zzz why all these..

first of all, why must my stupid bed crack, and the wall beside my bed rot... its too gross to see the rotting part, let alone sleep beside it... plus there are water leaking from the wall... zzzz...

if only i could be spared from the sofa.. T_T.... so it seems, the only way to sleep on a bed, is to sleep early... but my lifestyle dont allow me to do so... waaaa do work do work, go out go out... so gonna sleep late late everyday...

zzz really... i really need to sleep early some times.. i get stiff necks everytime i lie down on that damned sofa...zzzzzzzz..

woa.. i zzzzz alot, and my english seemed to lose standard... heck la.. singlish, way to go!!!

2007-09-26T22:40:00.001+08:00

ahhhh tml camp haven pack bag... anyway, nothing much to pack..

so, today went bedok buy bbq stuff.... zz then back to bandroom play play play... zzzz so tired already, then 5pm lidat play somemore for quintet... after that go outside play somemore..

and up very tired, then go eat....

zzzz

2007-09-26T01:21:00.000+08:00

so this was the worst mid autumn festival in my entire life... last year, our class went to play soccer, then play fire at awwa there. after that i reach home, go play fire again with family... 2yrs ago, played fire at the beach or something, with family... 3years ago, played fire, and cycled. thats when i learnt to cycle...

but this year... no fire... HOW CAN!! waaaaaa.... by the way i heard sirens just now.. i suppose some one started a fire or something...

the moon was so bright today.. the moon... if theres anyone close enough with me, and hang out with me often, and is someone who is observant, he would notice that i always stop in my tracks and stare at the moon from time to time...

cos i really love looking at the moon, be it round or crescent... it meant alot to me, to just stare at it, cos, only by doing that, i remind myself that i do have good memories... just that they were the past.

and no one will see the same moon twice..

gonna hypnotise myself to fall asleep...... i am starting to fall asleep... my eyes are heavy... *snap!*

guess that did'nt work... tch..

2007-09-25T22:23:00.000+08:00

waaa... tiring...

went to practise in school.. reached at 1pm, but had to wait for li hong.. so in the end there was only 4 people there...

more people came at evening, and we went for the magical autumn thing.. boring ba...

this mid autumn festival, i actually expected more things, but it seems, everyone are busy...

another long day tml, camp on thursday, prerelease at weekend... i might drop dead on sunday... monday's timetable not out yet... -_______-

2007-09-25T01:30:00.000+08:00

lyrics from ending song of the movie 'Brave Story'..

Title of song, Ketsui no Asa ni by Aqua Timez
MV at the sidebar...

If its gonna be like that anyway,
let's live our dumb dreams...
If its gonna be like that anyway,
let's live our dumb, bright happy dreams.

You don't need to act cool,
Its more like you to not put on airs.

The harder and harder we try
the more our journey spins its wheels
like a march of school childrens
where their arms and legs go forward together

But is'nt that just fine?
It's better when you are living
to be laughed at
by others.

In the depths of the depths of my mind,
the real me was sealed away,
36.5 degrees of the real me,
we don't stop, with no decorations

But i'm still acting tough
I'm still putting up barriers.
I'm fighting the pain.

If only i could say it hurts when it hurts
We are weak, but acting tough
The reason we act OK when we are lonely
is to protect ourselves since
we feel like we are about to fall apart.

I'm sure its not just me
carrying these
feelings with nowhere to go
this loneliness with no place to be,

Crying for what we can't have,
screaming like a little baby,
sitting and waiting for the snack called 'love'

I looked at a person who was walking
faster than even their reflections in the asphalts and thoughts
If we've got legs we can move
and a place we want to be
then lets walk there.

There were some nights I thought
I'd never take back my real smile, but
Aided by the warmth of the people who matter to me
I thought i might try believing again

If only i could say it hurts when it hurts
We are weak, but acting tough
The reason we act OK when we are lonely
is to protect ourselves since
we feel like we are about to fall apart, but
the mistakes and scars, the days i was lost
and almost cried,
I thought that as proof that I'd lived as me

If it would be like that anyway, I'd dream
dumb dreams with more fervor than anybody,
put away my excuses, and puff my chest up high,
And keep singing of the human called me

....

hahah most of the times, japanese songs have the most meaning...

i just realise this afternoon that i had lost something which i considered important to me.. it stayed with me for slightly more than 10weeks and now i'd just have to lose it.. to me, it was related to the change in pace of my life... the change in direction..

now, i dunno where to start looking for it.. and i know i might never be able to see it again..

ha.. how random it was... was...

2007-09-24T04:06:00.000+08:00

'At times, memories restricts our minds.But the mind can be freed with new encounters.'

feeling so happy on a different scale... just completed the anime series 'nodame cantabile' and the above was quoted from the ending...

i feel tempted to say something 'profound'... hahaah but i cant get the right english yet...

life is neither a written story or a staged drama... life cannot be defined with any language..

2007-09-24T01:27:00.000+08:00

ahhhh.... finally, after so long, i never thought that i'd able to get an answer, but it seems, ya..

life is so interesting to start with... there are so many events, happenings.. many different types of people.. people who are leading a proper lifestyle should keep in mind that they are actually very fortunate to be actually living...

but.. life is never simple, if you chose to look into its' depths...

but the answer to everything is quite simple, if you'd care to even think.... because every human being is the same.. and that, we make out logics in the same ways.. just that, sometimes people find it hard to express eveything, and people cannot understand fully another individual's logic..

ahhh, and so you will get to know what i mean..

it may be a load off, but it alone does not makes any different..

2007-09-23T16:45:00.000+08:00

it hurts... to live such a boring phase in life...

hahah its just that i hate holidays too much... i'd only wish for short breaks, as, too long a break, i will lose my track in life... i'd need more things to occupy myself with... studies, sports, music..

and i'd guess i need friends too!

lets see...

2007-09-23T02:45:00.000+08:00

i guess i should reply my nu'er's tag here...

haha its no problem... those are things that i need to do as i dun want see you feeling sad.. hahah and im happy for you that you have many friends who care for you!

still owe u a meal... oops =x..

hahah so back to normal posts...

the 1st day of the weekend was horrible for me.. had a super stiff neck, which pains when i rotate my heat to the left.. so it made me feel abit down... so, went off to meet eph for dinner, but we ended up meeting up too early, and slacking off at the bus stop deciding where to go...

so ya, went to ps to walk walk eat eat and talk...

ahhh... how i wish... i had my same saturday, doing the same things, elsewhere....

ya.. so was stuck with this animation movie called 'brave story', but never able to finish it, bacause the site refuse to start playing part 3 and part 4.... zzzz... shall go back to nodame cantabile later... maybe tml.. eyed abit tired...

and so, my dad's phone officially got repaired and was passed on to me... tsk.. hahahah i spent quite a lot these few days... 16 on thurs, 1 yesterday, and 20 today... so in the end, the 1$ on friday was averaged out to more than 10$... pathetic..

ahhhh... smirks...

2007-09-22T00:46:00.000+08:00

walau... i cant believe that all the while i was controlled by my emotions too much... lose temper too easily... a big flaw for me...

if i get slightly worked up, its gonna grow into something else, and i cannot control it.. and im always blinded by it, and fail to see the solutions to all the problems i encountered...

hahah anyways, the last block felt so unreal for me... there were work which i procrastinated till the very end, and there were work done without effort just because i lost my cool when i found out i have to redo them, or when i made a grave mistake... truth is, losing my cool is my grave mistake...

hahaha a lesson learnt... but it only puts myself to furthur test, more challenges....

ahhh a scent which brings memories.... ahh, i forgot how it goes...

to live the life of he who has no life...

2007-09-20T14:04:00.000+08:00

and so, ya...

im trying to get eph to go out with me now.... zzz .. nothing to do sia.. and i hate this kind of nothing to do nua at home days...

usually i will go down bishan to play... but i already stopped going down half a year ago...

right now i just wan to spend my 98.95$ assets away and regret it later...

gogogo spend money go.... lets waste everything buying things i will never get to use...

but isit worth it?

i'd rather eat to de-stress...

but now im at a lost....

so lets hope money can get me what i want...

fill my life... with rain, because there is always a rainbow after the storm...

2007-09-20T02:09:00.001+08:00

and ya, i just re-read my blog...

and i noticed the flow of my life, how its chnaging..

tired eyes....

later..

2007-09-20T01:15:00.000+08:00

so, i'd complaint and whine and whine and whine as and when.... to think that i complaint about everything so much...

so a perfect day.... maintanence day, followed by cousin's wedding... thon cancelled...

ya, i will say sorry here.. SORRY LA...

LOOKIT HERE LOOK! THIS ARROGANT GUY CALLED YONG WOEI IS SAYING SORRY!!! LOOOOK!!!!!!

tch...

yup, its life, for which, things happens... things starts, things ends... and its all unexpectedly....

i had to tell myself to do this do that just to make sure i keep my courage, but its always expected that i withdraw from my own thoughts, and i chicken out myself, running away from all of it...

its more than 6 times that i ran away... and everytime, i tell myself that there will be no more next time...

and it seems, there will be no more need for a next time.... if i should end everything quitely, and make sure people move on in life and not notice the difference...

its could be done, but should it??

lost again... poor sense of direction.....

later....

2007-09-19T01:37:00.001+08:00

all these thoughts....

arrrgghhh ... im gonna develop a few split personalities very soon.. tsch... have nothing really better to do than to play game, listen song or talk to myself....

i have interesting conversations with myself and im begining to enjoy talking to myself... zzz... am i turning mad??? and so, i learnt quite alot just by talking to myself.... in fact, i begin to take advises from them... and they have a lot to offer..

take a break from what you are doing... talk to urself... you'll become a better you...

this is insane......

2007-09-18T15:11:00.000+08:00

im not used to doing nothing and playing games anymore... zzzz... and i cant bring myself to start watching another anime series...

now i cannot get any dinner kahkis.. i never had cycling kahkis and my comp cannot game... guess i'll go on a die this holiday, hoping to get another 5kilos off me...

target 180/48.. but i know the 180 part is impossible

zzzz dun like hoildays sia...

life is so contradicting

2007-09-18T02:27:00.000+08:00

so was back from school... tiring day, back pain, leg pain, arm pain... lip very 'suan'... hahah as usual, a normal band day...., vision blurred halfway as i was rusty already, and used too much air...

so terry fox run was not as exciting as i expected... we ended up standing by the road and entertaining ourselves... but i was already in my own thinking world just before the race start... nothing interesting cept that there was this woman running and pushing a pram, and a super enthu one legged man...

so went off to eat and have fun at siloso... i realised the joy of eating half the box of tic tac at once... especially lime and extra strong mints... it feels as if you are taken right up to heaven... but of course, the floationg feeling wears off almost instantly, when you finish everything, and you will taste hell...your mind will be overloaded, and your body muscles will start to stop work...

but ya, its the same logic which applies to drug addicts, and im already addicted to tic tacs...

yup... we threw people off into the sea, and we played soccer.. that explains my body aches/injuries... bathed and went off to vivo, split our ways and i went on the journey home with amos...

time passed super slow on the bus... i slept for what i thougth was 1 hour, but it was only 20mins, and we were still at orchird... another 40mins, which i thought was and hour again, before amos woke me up to tell me that hes alighting and my stop is soon, ya, and i told him im sleeping all the way...

yea because i had this serious stupid idea which i never think twice about....

and fate played with me and entertained me for the next hour, where i bought my dinner at long john and could not eat it even though my gastric was acting up... by the way i still haven eat since the night before.. it was physically and mentally hell for me at that journey home...

thus i reached home, left the comp on, ate dinner and knocked myself out...

having the sudden urge to cry every now and then... my life quite calmed down abit after submission and i feel very hollow inside... i know of my upcoming evens and realised that i does not even have the time to rest even during holidays... and i know that i will be very fatigued after this holiday especially when i have band camp and prerelease cramped together... it will practically be 4days of camp doing serious work 12hrs per day...

now i realised that i had commitments but never actually have close links to most of them.. band, pid, dsc, sec sch pals, magic people... none except one i have friends im comfortable to talk with, which is my sec sch ppl... and thats only 1or 2 ppl which i could talk with... and its too late to change myself..

look.. im a HUNCHBACK with a poor appearance and a pair of perfect but disoriented eyes which makes people always think that i have attitude problem, so those people who judge people by looks will be superbly turned off by just looking at me, not to mention listening to me... thus all my words will just set those people taking behind my back loudly..

living like this for so long, its only natural for me to develop an ego... i'd never start a conversation with a stranger unless i had made a close observation of him/her, and that i had judged that person as whether he/she will bother... i start using a pair of cold eyes to intentionally stare at spaces beyond people's eyes, giving gestures intended to make them all leave me alone...

then i start finding people who does'nt mind me, and try to get them to get them to get along with me...

yup, i was paranoid... no one would show me care and concern, thus i would shun those that did... i learnt how powerful words were on the human mind, and began using them to attack people who stepped on those landmines..

i felt comfortable, and sometimes even happy when i hurt someone, both by words and by actions...

but as i grew up, i got to realise how bigthis society was, and i should always bear in mind about me and my peer's safety.. i wanted to change, but i found out that those past actions were imprinted as a part of me... i tried hard but i could not communicate properly with most people when i came into poly... up till now, im still wary of my surroundings, and would care less to extend my friendship networks by what others were doing, tonnes...

yup, those words which i used to talk back to kheehuat,' i woud care less about the others, i only compete with myself.' which became a joke, was my real mindset...

i never thought of improving my physics when dickson and yunting started improving dramtically and when dickson challenged me, i told him to see how lor...

i cant get myself to change, even when im aware of what i should be doing... it brings many regrets, but im just too weak a person to start a revolution of myself...

ya... so much for reading, welcome to my life huh..

tch.. i got a bit worked out when i analyse myself.... m eq just got lower....

2007-09-17T12:47:00.000+08:00

did my eyes play trick on me or there really was something that went pass my window??

was at the living room when i saw a shadow pass by my window which disappeared among the clothes which were hanging on the window... no noise no nothing, and when i went outside to check, theres was nothing...

and it is bright daylight, afternoon condition...

anyway whats wrong with myself lately, having poor appetite and having diarroeah whenever i eat something slightly oily.... but seriously, the heaty'ness i feel is accumulated from all the late night no sleep do work play game go out routine of my past few days...

now the stomach is calling my again...

terry fox updates tonight....

2007-09-16T04:43:00.000+08:00

and so its dawn already and i need to leave the house for terry fox run soon... zzzz

startcraft campaign is getting harder as the story goes on.. zzz dies for like 5 times for a single mission... ahahah and thats how i occupy my time up until now...

hahah im so glad to be feeling stress free now, without the pressure from myself, without the workload to satisfy...

but i know everything is gonna change back to how it was...

and i hope it dun go too far back..

tsk....

2007-09-15T17:48:00.000+08:00

so i 4gt to mention about thonning at cheris's place... okay, it made us work quite alot, and untimately made us tired and sick... so we coincidently met donson on the bus ride there.. ate supper at some hk resturant and took our time drawing..

i remember smth bout for every 1 hour of sleep u lost, u need to sleep for 2 hour to regain the energy.. so i had missed about 18 hours of sleep, so it total up to about 36 hours?? yesterday i slept for about 10hrs, minus the 8hr normal sleep.... so i left 26 more hours to go...

picts from thonn..

my battreies

redden eyes

me ignoring cheris

mushroom style... zz

zhiming seems so relaxed... zz

lost all concentration

2007-09-14T21:03:00.000+08:00

so, in the blink of an eye, the block ended and its holiday.... hahaaha

and so i only missed out on 1 assignment for submission.. and went home to sleep... but woke up at around 8pm, which made me impossible to attend briefing and band...

sore throat and flu condition getting worst since the morning... zzzz and i dun wish to be sick during holidays....

whatever will happen...?

2007-09-13T00:50:00.000+08:00

so heres another late night no sleep drawing day....

model making's looking good...

video cam looking good...

gonna do hand drill later and show kh tml... hope nth goes wrong...

hahaahah time table.., today dun sleep go school... modma finish up liao go home sleep till night, then go outside thon...

friday submission... jiayou ppl!!!! who wan thon tgt??

2007-09-11T23:40:00.000+08:00

now i need to stop my work for a long time...

cos i freaking damn go and pick up the solder iron with my bare fingers unknowingly...

nw they are burnt and blistering, and the pain is so great that i need to put them in cold water...

how to complete everything....

spaces... everywhere.... empty...

2007-09-11T18:43:00.000+08:00

and a tuesday is passing by....

and i cant do anything about it.. can onli draw and draw and pray that i can finish everything..

and i cant do anything bout my sickness.....

tsk...

2007-09-11T00:17:00.000+08:00

dust, noise, mental usuage, reduced eye sight, all are contributing to my headache now...

gotta finish up my drill and video camera dawings by wednesday... gotta finish them u p cos i still have alot other incompleted work

how how... everything seems different and difficult.... i duno how to piece every stuff together into 1 final picture

2007-09-10T22:20:00.000+08:00

and so a monday had passed like that...

just came back from band and decided taht i should really start finishing up all my works... submission's on thursday and i just learnt of that.... zzz its only 2 more days, and i still hav model making to finish up...

ahaha im asking too much from myself, and when i do that, i break down from stress, but when i ask too little of myself, i tend to slack....

splitting headache still on... hahhaha suffering.....

to think that i used to do my work on time... ahahahaa times changed...

tsk tsk tsk, stop drawing those useless detail and strt on ur final assignment mr yong woei..

and that remind urself not to drift off to the computer to slack...

2007-09-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

and so today i tried out my 1st event at bishan... quite slack but tiring...

now im suffering a splitting headache and i did not gi away after i sletp for a while...

pain pain pain, and i havent draw my drawings...

how how..?

omg... im so scared tha i fall sick right now... if so, then everything will lag behind...

2007-09-09T08:09:00.000+08:00

wasted a few more of my days doing work, until yesterday, which i wasted it going out and playing game...

gonna go for my 1st event later a acs...

then back home to do more work until finish most of it... but i know i cant...

cant wait for monday to come... ahaahha thats where most of the modma will be done and completed... lets all cross fingers

2007-09-07T08:22:00.000+08:00

another sleepless night.. hahah if i slept then i sure wun want to go school...

oh by the way, today is day off... no school.. but i guess i wan to complete my model making...

2007-09-07T03:54:00.000+08:00

fruitful days leads to more fruitful days... the sense of satisfaction... but they are easily gone with mistakes...

zzz need redo speaker model... but its okay...

done some drawing, but at my pace, i cant finish up eveything... i need to stop playing startcraft. ahha i even had the thought to play somemore after i draw...
maybe i play till tml until i go school...
ahahaha

right now drawing my dear hairdryer...

maybe i shouldnt do so much... tsk... confused...

compare birds and kites... they both fly freely in the sky, but the bird can fly without limits while the kite is bounded by the string...
even though the kite flyer hold on to the kite, he keeps releasing the string until the kite flys high...
he controls the kite afar so that it does not get tangled with foreign objects..
only when he need to leave then he withdraw the kite..

the logic's the same...

2007-09-05T20:59:00.000+08:00

a long day out,.. been abit since i last updated... later at nights

2007-09-03T18:22:00.000+08:00

home super early for a monday... and the 1st thing i do is go right into sleep... its cos i slept for a damn 2hr from 7am... zzzz...
drowsy now and i know im sick.. what to do..? drink more water...

aghhhhh modma work still not complete!!!!! tsk im sick of all these gentle reminder to complete my work on time to myself.. and they are turning violent soon...

a big load off my mind..

2007-09-03T01:10:00.000+08:00

THANK YOU IVY!! (:

I will always love my guai nu'er!! and ahhh! i still owe you a meal... cya SOON!

right now, need to do my work which is due tmomrrow.... tsk.. irritating

actually i already had the answer in my mind long ago, but i really dunno how to tell you, and i really dunno what you will feel, how u will react... and i am actually scared...

2007-09-02T13:36:00.000+08:00

sort of lost....

now i think again, what exactly am i doing for this week?? i never draw, model making do abit, then everyday go out or play game...

whats wrong... thats not me

if i was myself, i would, chiong finish all my work, then watch variety show on tv.. then work again, then sleep...

and its too long since i last played music....

young people must listen to more music so that they dont think too much...

2007-09-02T05:13:00.000+08:00

hahahahaah yongwoei is such an undetermined guy...

if i continue slacking, i can never do any big cases in my life... zzzz... but it sucks when everyone is having holiday, while we are doing meaningless work... ahhhhh this sucks... and the holiday mood is so great... lets be patient and wait for 2 more weeks, and in the meantime, buck up.... this is your last chance to give it a shot yongwoei! you must never miss the target anymore...

a promise to myself... will it be carried out?

moving on while taking glances of my past...

2007-09-02T03:33:00.001+08:00

my another desperate attempt to do my drawing works failed again....

tch... gonna plan my time better

2007-09-01T15:00:00.001+08:00

waaahalau.. i havent been drawing for ages... omg.. gonna lag behind alot... plus my walkman model is untouched... tsk tsk tsk yw... poor shit..

lost so many good chances and good weather to play basketball... ahhh i want to play badly... hahaha 'everyday go out until late late then go home' days are over... not used to it anymore..

maybe im gonna draw overnight again.. its better that way, when the rest of the world is asleep, and you are working alone.. motivating....

ohoh.. i wanna cycle also!!! night cycling to hougang and staying overnight there is fun fun fun...

tch... i miss those old days, when i dont care what people think about me, and when i always do what i want to do... feel like reverting...
but then, i was lonely...

and i feel like cycling to school everyday.....

2007-08-31T23:42:00.000+08:00

didnt went back sec school for teacher's day, and to think its the 1st t'cher day after o's...

so went to help out in lecturer's day in tp, then went down to town to meet up with the guys... we just ate dinner and then walked a long distance... cant do much with rodger around, and lh's curfew... so in then went to lim kopi with eph at hg ave8... haahah i guess eph had enough of my nonsense talk about kelly, and i hope that she or anyone close to her will never know about what we talked about.. but since lh is 'becoming kelly', its okay to crap talk..

as usual im the last to reach home... its a pain living away from all my friends... always go home alone.. but tada! eph always crap talk with me until my bus comes...

school is getting more and more boring by the day... tsk.. model making really is a thorn in the flesh..

2007-08-30T03:24:00.000+08:00

pooooooh...

played game even when im stucked wth loads of assignments to complete.. gonna sleep soon...

stucked...

ohoh.. horoscopes... its quite true...

2007-08-29T20:40:00.000+08:00

meaningless working.. that occupied me since the start of the week....

unexpected happenings and outcome spoilt the whole day for me... and it proved alot of things... but its too unexpected, and it shocked me...

ok, my body's getting weaker by the days, and i cannot stand cold anymore... even right now my hands are trembling... my chest pain returned, and its quite a few days already, but its only today that im bothered by it... severe pain in the right chest whenever i breathe in cold air... or rather, breathe in too hard oso...

now, whats that illness you get from smoking 2nd hand?

tsk, model making really pisses me off, especially when all the dirt get stuck to my model.. and drawings are getting tougher.. at this moment, every word of criticism pisses me off, even if its from myself..

ahhhh its been so long... since when did school work bother me so much...?

pink form.?

2007-08-29T00:50:00.000+08:00

late late in the middle of the night... feeling so sick, and so much things that i want to talk about... but theres no one out there to listen... how i hope its not the chinese 7th month now, so that i can cycle in the midnight without my parents caring...

getting so anxious and tensed up inside my chest... same symtoms as last time.. i really do wonder which illness im suffering from... high or low blood pressure... the doctor mentioned something about its okay if the blood pressure is slightly low... and that was 6mths ago and maybe my condition worsened...

yes... im feeling sick and now im trying to complaint cos i dunno wad sickness i have... no doctors could help..

to complaint is not me,
im not myself lately,
i dunno why but its very sudden
a sudden change of mood
maybe is an aftermath,
but alot of things can never be linked
if you dun understand how i think
every small detail
every possibility considered

i involved myself outside too much last weekend, and got a narrow escape, but that again set me thinking...

the above is not meant to rhym.... coincidence

2007-08-28T23:50:00.001+08:00

anything can happen when one is feeling down... just like how my tears well up suddenly with no reasons just now..

and another voice inside tells me to give up... it tells me not to struggle anymore... it'd be easier if you gave up.. blah blah blah, negative thoughts... guess i won't do anything stupid since im going to use a penknife later for model making, now that i remember how people 'uses' their penknifes...

cutting of wrist for pain, commonly practised by 'emo' people, is quite redundant, as the pain goes away the moment the wound heals... thay just want people to notice how they cut themself, and want attention from them... and from experience, i know the exact place to cut... the place which will cause much pain, as well as being not easy to heal due to the fact that the part of the body is being used more than frequent... of course im not going to say it here lest people go and try it out...

i am clear minded, just that im now confused..
what is right and what is wrong... i can no longer make judgements anymore...

2007-08-28T23:14:00.000+08:00

late for class even though i practically woke up at 7.30am.. and so the assignments increased in a large amount... and the time limit had been set... for me, those drawing assignments had to be combined with the models for modelmaking...

this sucks..

life suddenly became meaningless... school suddenly became redundant... everything i do seemed ordinary... meaningless carrying out orders in order to pass my modules... after kh's class, i lost all willpower to continue drawing already... i broke under the pressure... finally....

under normal circumstances, i would just ignore his comments and continue improving, but today, i didnt expect anything, even though i jolly well know that i drew that picture just because i want to tell meself that i had been working...

and it is so easy to spot my change in behaviour... because i will start to talk randomly and loudly... followed by those hateful eyes...

but what to expect?? when you are suffering from the inside, with voices talking in the back of your head... they just talk non-stop, saying what is right what is wrong, what to do and what not... gastric, nausea, everything the inverse of food posioning... even constipation..

and i rembered something like a quote, 'if your day starts wrong, the next few days sucks'...
so true..

2007-08-28T02:56:00.000+08:00

so its all the same... late in the night im still awake trying to completed work supposed to be already done....

sometimes drawing sucks, especially alone... and especially when you are missing someone... everything will seem wrong, and you get dissatisfied with your drawings... edit, edit, but you can never get the details right... thats where you give up and walk to your computer to blog...

ahhh.. left with one piece of composed drawing... its easy if its on A3.. but on A2, everything has to be drawn big... and its no joke... and so now im trying to figure out what to draw later... and i gave up on doing model making already... i simply love to give up...

but i will never ever think of giving you up

2007-08-27T20:48:00.000+08:00

history repeats itself, and it proves a stunning truth....

its always happening, since school starts.. the end of block, the day before submission, the hour before submission... none of those works gets done before hand... none... and i end up staying up late, doing work i should had already done... i hate my lack of determination... and things are not going to change within minutes, days or even weeks... its embedded in my mind already, that im a lazy person, undetermined to change..

a change, a revolution... i dun like changes but they had to be made... but how..?

and so today was like just another bad monday.... late for lunch, late for school, late for submission... tsk.. then in the end i nearly need to redo my model... and went down to bandroom to find weizhen play basketball... tsk... basketball court renovating, wasted trip... then went back to band room and slept for an hour...

when i woke up, i realised that the heat level in my body is going up, a.k.a heaty.... and went for dinner with weizhen.... and i hate to eat with blisters in your mouth...

ok it about time i realised that i had not been eating reguraly for the past 5 days or so... all i eat is dinner... and i neglect lunch and breakfast... one reason might be that im saving up... but i oso think that i lack appetitte... no mood to eat... and i realised that i lost a few kilos... tsk.. i hate all these...

now im stuck with kh's assignmennts and the walkman model... why did'nt i do modelmaking 2blocks earlier... okok its about time i continue slacking and star to give myself tonns of excuses for not starting to draw...

hmmm let me see... 1+1+1+1=4... and 4+1 will be..?

2007-08-27T03:32:00.000+08:00

stucked with pink foam in the middle of the night.... zzzz they seriously sucks, and i prefer blue foam...

ahhhh another rushed assignment... when will all these last minutes finish... i disappoint myself once again, time after times...

and omg... yongwoei here does think too much.... he sees everything in detail, and will try to figure everything out, even if its the most common thing in the world, and he will come out with alot of funny philosophy, and start making them complicated, until finally he gets tired and sick of it, he will try to bury everything in his head, and in the process, starts to burn out his brain, and will get fatigue easily, which eventually leads to his self blaming, and gets emo....

and that is going to happen real soon....

2007-08-27T01:13:00.000+08:00

when one starts to think alot, time suddenly flies alot faster...

it all started last night, when i started to think... but it was catalysed by the email i recieved from stanley, regarding the judging of events... and so i went down to bishan to seek help, only to realise that the shop was not opened, and that today was the nationals... time had flew so fast...

and so i sought eph for more help, but instead i end up in his house watching the secrets... and end up alomst crying... i cant help but to think more.. thinking... and i know i cnt get the answer soon... im sorry but u'll have to wait for a while.. (:

homework, or rather assignments untouched over the weekend.. gonna do them later since school starts tomorrow.. ahhhh... what to do now... when all i can do is to make things worst by exercising my mind... it always happen when i start to think alot...

and im always stucked even though i know exactly what i want to say...

2007-08-26T00:32:00.000+08:00

doing assignments for last few days, and i slept super earli cos i was very tired...

today went out with eph and lh, but something unexpected turned up, and we nearli got beaten up by some random guys... and its all thanks to eph that i got dragged all into it... ah, but it ended with nothing happening, and us spotting tavis playing pool...

went home, tired...

and i don't know how to react... twice today..

2007-08-24T05:12:00.000+08:00

dawn is nearing but i still have work to finish up.. maybe im really taking things too lightly and i had relaxed too much.. todays' friday and this week is going to end, with submission on monday, and with my handphone model un touched.. its a sgin, indicating that i am still not working hard enough... not enough...

i need to do more.. to maintain, and to slowly surpass... and i need to hurry before its all too late..

2007-08-23T21:10:00.000+08:00

my internet connection suddenly sucked.. and i never go schol today... had gastriv in the morning, and was lazy to go school in the afternoon... but i end up clueless as to wad to do for tomorrow's perspective submission..

ahhh watched this anime called 'akagi' which is about mahjong.. but all the terms they use is in japanese.. so its quite difficult to understand at first... hahaaha duno why but i desperately want a laptop and a new phone now... any laptop any phone will do... -__- thats lame...

but my desktop just sucked and thats true.. what can a pentium dunno 2 or 3 desktop do when we are now in 2007 and the techonology was invented like 10years ago...

okay, got to do lot of work... assignments to be submitted on tomorrow and monday.. zzzz.. i seriously don't like this block, and i ant it to end soon... lets take this positively... 1st week of the block is ending soon, so will the following 3 weeks.. so in the meantime, work like a mindless automation...

2007-08-22T04:37:00.000+08:00

and its like 4.40am already... hahaha its been so long since i stayed up to do assignments... daily assignments...

the one point perspective thing really requires time, if you want it to be nicely detailed... gonna do hatching instead of shading, so it looks more sketchy, and cleaner..

after waking up at 11pm just now, i don't feel like sleeping anymore.. instead, i started work and watched anime for breaks.. and one thing.. i had burger for almost every meal yesterday.. and now my stomach is feeling super weird...

getting tired.. but its only normal.. i don't dare to go and take a nap because who knows what time i will wake up.. hahahah...

2007-08-21T23:10:00.000+08:00

okay, stress level WILL build up that fast when 1st submission is around 2+days away.. and with the normal assignments piles on top, its gonna get to me faster...

model making was hell, as i never realised that i sanded the foam with the edge of the wood with the sandpaper mounted... then it ended up defaced.. and i smell more work for tomorrow..

need to draw my room later... 1 point perspective... tsk..

2007-08-20T22:48:00.000+08:00

did nothing useful in school... -___-

i sense stress level that should rise at breakneck speed.. but i will be okay! (:

so sweet! and thats what i like! :) ...

2007-08-19T22:36:00.000+08:00

and so when i think that i can enjoy the end of the block, i end up sleeping it away...

ahhhh found 1 major mistake and 2 minor mistake in my computer drafting just now... -_____- lets hope dennis cannot spot them(i doubt so, cos even if he dose'nt terrence will)..

was deciding to go and study with jj and eph they all, but only they 2 lei.. like i become lightbulb lidat.. and somemore i don't need study... and so alot of things never do, and some places never go... and i last min then know today's my mom's birthday... and i never remember people's birthdays, even my parent's... maybe i should change...

had smelly tofu and some cakes...

will tomorrow be better??

>96

2007-08-19T00:20:00.000+08:00

feeling super down and super weird now.......

went out for dinner with lh and eph just now... so long already never eat lidat liao... and so we did everything uncles will do.. eh, abt wrong aar.. is they uncle not me lol. ok, so as usual, lh need to go home 1st, so i went to central with eph to slack and talk like last time la... been so long since i had such random talk...

moody and down for awhile already...

but why should all this be happening? what makes me think so much... but its the same as last time, i just think alot... i think too much already.. had not been smiling for the past few days, and i dunno what to do anymore...

2007-08-18T01:18:00.000+08:00

and so the extionsion of submission date did not affect my plan to submit my computer drafting today... was in rhino doing dimensioning since 9am all the way till 2pm... it was pure tedious work, including the grouping of lines for editing in illustrator.. then i did editing in illustrator, which took around 1hour, and queued at the print shop to realise that theres an error in my layering...

in the end i went back to test print, then peishi they all called to inform me that my printing is done.. so in the end it was quite perfect and was handed in to denise..

wanted to play soccer and basketball, but it was raining... so i stayed in caid lab with the rest to play... went off at around 7, and it was seriously cold.. then to realise that im super hungry cos i nevr had any meals yet, so with royston and zhiming, we went tm for dinner... and i just realised that i haven pay zhiming for my dinner...

super cold, and headache was taking over... went home and fell asleep shortly..

never did i know that i will have a bad dream.. its since so long since the last bad dream i had... and whats worst is that in my dream i was getting tired... and so, i woke up to not get any more tiredness...

& its already two days... how long is all these going to continue for...

looking forward to the next time (=

p.s. sorry to cheris and ivy cos haven do the memes yet...

2007-08-17T01:55:00.000+08:00

phewww... stucked with rhino again... im so used to its interface, that i kept trying to scroll the screen of my browser with the right click...

nearing the last phase before illustrator... sectioning and hatching... aiyah. dimensioning seems tedious... ohoh.. my handphone went dead while i was doing my work... dead... means spoil la... jialat... ):

but im in love with the Motorola V3 razar already.. might consider getting one.. hahaha...

a few more hours to my long awaited sleep..

feeling so weird when i never see you for a day...

2007-08-16T22:04:00.000+08:00

and i failed to wake up at 8am to go school do work.. instead i reached school at 3.30pm...

abit no mood to do in school 1st, when theres no computer in the lab.. the the news of the power trip in the free-acess lab, which is followed by the power trip in CAID lab... and all our work were unsaved and lost...

ahaha but my mood came back after my lunch at 4pm when the lab was quite empty... started trying to learn everything again, redo everything that is lost, and funally focusing so hard that my mind cannot interprete what people are saying...

satisfied with myself... but i need to complete things by tomorrow, so that i can be sure what must be edited...

happy, fatigue... tml might be a better day!
=), =D

thanks for everything!

2007-08-16T04:52:00.000+08:00

Past two days were quite similar...

Rhino is getting on my nerves... especially when you feel like you cannot finish it... on time... been stuck with rhino since monday, but my progress is super slow... lines lines lines... been staring at the computer screen and squinting my eyes to try and take dimensions... and the good thing is that my eyes get tired very easy, and when it does, headache follows...

helped jasmine spray paint her chair on tuesday...

and today was so tiring, i fell asleep a couple of times on the bus... did 'work' till 3.30 and went down to band room to practise, after about 5days off from band.. wa.. miracle, my headache went away soon after i reached band room. (:

fatigue, and my mom forced me to wake up at 3am just now to wake her up at 6am... doing rhino again...

jiayou!!

2007-08-13T23:33:00.000+08:00

and so its another long day and there seems to be something wrong with blogger...

woke up early as usual... but my family was like, so 'lively'.. reached school just to find out that royston is not goin to school to do work!.. so i just went home to sleep, and then go back to school to meet up with eph and xx.. and eph came over to tp because he has a day off.. so we played basketball together with wei zhen.. and my skin under my blister cracked... so pain...

went to accompany mark to do audio work... so i just sat there and watched(listen)...

go supper with maincom, but never eat la, then go send that girl carrying a large but soft ipod home...

tired.. i found out that i am always tired....

and i always end off with these small emo sentences which tells of my real feeling at the moment...
:)

2007-08-13T00:52:00.000+08:00

and so, this sunday was a rare occassion where the guys went out together... rare for me la, cos i never really go out with them already... so we do the same things la, eat, slack, eat slack again... then talk crap, disturb people.. lol that sound like gangster behaviour?

was trying to find a spherical sponge, for someone's assignment =x... but cannot find la.. where can i find such thing... kept saying sponge ball, and eph suggested sponge bob since they pronounce the same.. then somemore he say go NTUC buy alot of dish washing sponge, then make into sphere... no help at all..

was so sinful... kfc plus fried spring chicken for dinner and supper.... maybe tomorrow will feel terrible...

abit headache maybe due to all the oil i drank today... ah and thanks lh for the motorola v3 earpiece, even though it might not be helpful to me... i need the cable and software more!!!... ahahah.. tired..

im sorry but i think i need some more time to slowly get used to everything.. my life had changed so much and i dunno how to continue for now... yea, but im trying.

2007-08-11T19:48:00.000+08:00

Wasted a promising Saturday... and to think that i exchanged it for sleep... hahahah lazy me.. =X... and so in the end, i had a super stiff neck... (i never went out because i had a super servere backache probably due to yesterdays' big fall and band..)

went for fireworks after slacking on thursday.. met with weiyi and jasmine at marina square and went off to find spots.. in the end everywhere was so crowded... but we managed to find a good spot with good view... the whole town area was so crowded, and its the first time being like that... went off to dinner afer that as i was super hungry...

yesterday was so normal that i feel normal?.. hahah as in, like secondary school... had presentation, which was somehow like, listening to jai presenting our work to us... and then after that went off to play soccer! with dsc people.. waaa its been so long in which i played soccer.. so i ended up going off limping to band with injuried i used to have everyday last time... painful but i still enjoyed playing.. and thanks to jasmine for helping me buy plasters! :) ...

ahahahah stupid weather... overheated my handphone while i was playing soccer.... and my phone went mad... so much for an old phone.. shutted it off only to find it on again... and battery went flat, but suddenly full again... when can i get a new phone... -_______-

so went for band pract, quintet first... then was so paiseh during band... cause 1 score went missing, and i had to search for it while mr tan kept making funny comments.. went home alone..

and i always feel lost when i can't read whats on your mind...
im always helpless and useless...

2007-08-09T16:09:00.000+08:00

this entry starts off with, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TERENCE!

went out to celebrate terence's birthday yesterday at 10pm. stayed in school after rhino to do project, and then went down to the band room after that... Went back to the studio to look for zhiming, and then met up with cherine and finally cabbing down to bugis with terence..

overall the night was seriously fun, many people, many happenings! and in the end cabbed home with cheris, san roye and fiona.. tiring but fun!

awaiting today to end, unless something came up...

2007-08-08T01:06:00.000+08:00

its just wonderful how a day started off tiring, can evolve into an energy filled day...